Spiraling

Out of control.

No other way to describe it. My weight has gone up as my exercise has gone down. My food intake is out of control. I am having crazy cravings all the time for things that I would normally never buy. This happens every time my weight starts to go up. The crazy thing for me is that the scale says about the same weight as it always does but I look in the mirror and know that something is not quite the way it is supposed to be. Honestly I am not having any type of depression symptoms and my anxiety has been as in control as it can get. Because of school my stress is up which is to be expected. Also in January I was put on steroids for the eczema that got pretty severe on my stomach and legs. Finally it is starting to clear up. But it makes me feel pretty self-concious. My beautiful legs have red marks all up and down them from the infection that I got with the eczema. It looks a lot better than it has but I know it is there. A round of anti-biotics has made it better but there is still a good 2-3 weeks before they are hardly noticeable. Its tough since we are having unseasonably warm temperatures here in Indy right now. I have to make sure that my pants or skirt cover the bottoms of my legs so that no one can see. Although the main reason I don’t want people to see is because I just don’t want them to ask questions.  It is just frustrating. Not to mention some of the other stuff that we have been going through which I am not really ready to talk about on here yet.

So since my weight is spiraling I have decided that I really need to get things under control. Starting Sunday I am doing a total overhaul of what I am doing now. No more eating junk. More fruits and veggies. Limiting the processed foods. No alcohol. Limiting soda. Drinking lots of water. One of the main things that I need to get under control is my PCOS. With the PCOS it is so hard to keep my weight down. I would love to be able to get my weight down enough to be able to go off the Metformin and regulate my body so that everything is more regular. I am going to start to do my work outs 5 days a week and restart the couch to 5k. I am also going to start blogging more because it keeps me more accountable.