A HUGE setback equals a huge change!

My attitude this morning is a little discouraged. Honestly I don’t know if pissed is even the word to describe how I feel about it right now. I am so upset with myself at this point it is not even funny. I have gained 2 pounds since I started working out with Jacquie. That is ridiculous! It is my fault too. I have been doing the workouts but it is more like I am just going through the motions at this point. I cried when I got off the scale last night. I keep getting farther and farther away from the point I wanted to be at by now. Jacquie told me that I need to stop eating after 7. Honestly that is going to be so hard for me because I don’t get off work until 5 or 5:30 during the week. On the weekends it won’t be as hard, but on the days I work it will be very difficult. I called Adam after my session last night and asked him if he could help me on the nights that he is home at 3. He said that he can fix dinner on those nights and have it ready for when I get home. Oh and that is another thing I am upset about. Adam’s store went to 24 hours over Memorial Day weekend. And one of his shift supervisors walked out. So now Adam is working 2 overnights a week. So that means I never get to see him again. But the nights that he is working overnights I go to Jacquie and I tend to eat better when he is not around so maybe it will be a benefit to me. But that means I have to come home and fix myself dinner and take care of the dog all before leaving again.

When I called Adam last night about having to eat before 7 I told him that if I don’t lose weight we will not being having a baby. There is no way that I will be able to get pregnant at the size I am now. Nor would I want to. I really have to start to kick this into gear because I am not going to let my chances to be a mother slip by me because I was selfish and could not lose weight. I know that this is something I can do. Before I met Adam I had lost around 25 pounds. I have packed on over sixty since I met him. I did lose 10 of the 60 pounds I had gained but still that does not even begin to scrape the surface of what I need to do.

I know I have said this so many times before but this is my definite wake-up call. I need to do something now about my weight because it is seriously out of control. I do not want to be fat for the rest of my life because when we do have children I don’t want them to look at me and say mommy is fat so I can be fat too.

Its amazing what a week of workouts will do for you....

I have been working out with Jacquie for 2 weeks now. Last week was my first full week of working out at the gym. I feel really good and I have a ton of confidence now. It had been a long time since I could look in the mirror and actually like what I see. I actually ran on the treadmill on Thursday! I cannot believe I actually did it! The one challenge I have had is getting my 3 days of cardio in. I am going to start getting up in the morning and doing it before work so that I don't have to worry about doing it at night. Plus with going to my trainer 3 nights a week I like to be home on the nights I don't meet with her so that I can get stuff done around the house. The only thing is that my house has suffered a little bit since I started. I wish Adam would help out more but I guess there are bigger battles at this point.

I went and bought new tennis shoes yesterday. They are super cute! My feet had been really hurting in the shoes I had. I had been wearing those for awhile though so it was time for some new ones! I bought them at Kohls and had to grab a pair of socks to try them on since I had on flip flops. But I ended up buying the socks too. They have wicking and they are Nike brand. They are pretty similar to the socks my mom bought for me at Runners Forum before. I am going to wear them to the gym tomorrow morning so I can start to break them in before my class tomorrow night.

Well I am going to go and clip my coupons. After work I need to head to the grocery before its pool time! :)

What happens after 30?

Well...it is getting closer by the day!

As my friend Ashleigh said I am on a roll with the blogging recently. I have had 3 blogs in the last 2 days which equals half of the number of blogs that I did last year. Honestly I am now thinking about this blog and thinking it has some finality to it. After I turn 30 what am I going to do then? Ashleigh thinks that I should keep it going after I turn 30 on the progress I make with losing weight and staying in shape later. I was actually thinking the same thing. Great minds think alike! J There are some other things that I have bounced around and I am going to start experimenting with them on this blog and they may actually turn into a whole separate blog down the line, who really knows.

One thing I was thinking was more of a blog on what it is like to go back to school in my late 20’s early 30’s because let me tell you it has been an adventure. Now that I have switched over to Ball State I am a little out of my element as far as age. Those kids on campus look like babies compared to me! Just the little time I spent up there with the registering process in the spring made me realize that I am probably going to be the oldest or one of the oldest people in my classes. Maybe my experience with school and things that are going on with that will make an interesting blog on its own. That is why I am going to kind of start experimenting with that.

(Speaking of school, the summer semester is going well and I am just chugging along with it! I am hoping to be finished with one class by the end of the month. Which will put be 7.5 months ahead of schedule but I will save that for a different blog entry!)

Another idea I was thinking of that could be a totally different blog of its own is a blog about our house. I don’t know if any of my loyal (8) readers read any other blogs but I am obsessed with Young House Love. (http://www.younghouselove.com/)  They have some great ideas about fixing up an older house and doing almost all of it on their own. Our house is definitely a work in progress at this point. We have made some really nice improvements to our house to make it suit our style a little better but we still have a lot more to go. I have done some really cool things with our decorating that I am pretty proud of and maybe I should start to put them on the web for others to enjoy and maybe inspire a project or two. The only problem is that I have a lack of before pictures mostly because I am a little overwhelmed with some of the work that needs to be done and just get frustrated and close the door. So blogging about it may help make the experience easier. So don’t be too surprised if you see some house pictures appear on the blog.

One of my friends, Jen, suggested that I blog about some of the books that I read. I am an avid reader even while in school I have always found time to read in my free time. I am a fast reader and I love to share what I read with my friends because I want them to have the same experience with a book that I did. So you may see some of those books creep up here on the blog also.

One thing that I have thought about blogging about is TV shows or movies that I watch. I know that I probably would not have time right now to dedicate a whole blog to it but maybe sometimes I will just do a blog update on “What are the Murrays watching this week” or something like that! Along the same lines if I see any other blogs that I would like to share or maybe spotlight some of my friends blogs on here in the future also.

One idea that may come up in the next year or so is a pregnancy and motherhood blog. No, I am not pregnant now but we are planning on a family in the very near future and I still enjoy reading other peoples blogs about this subject and the humor that some of the parents share. Like I said this blog is not going to be happening anytime soon and it might not be a blog at all. We will see.

I know on here I have shared some things that Adam and I have done together. I think as we start going down the road and settling into the starting a family phase that there may be a more of a separate blog for family life. Trust me I could probably have a whole blog on my our crazy pitbull! J  This summer you will probably see some blogs from our concert and vacation experiences!

So that is what has been on my mind lately in terms of the blogging. I have really enjoyed writing these blogs in the last couple of days and hopefully that motivates me to blogging more often. It is nice to have an outlet to put my crazy thoughts on.

Still a little sore!

Workout #2 was last night. It was another doozy but I am feeling sore and good at the same time. I had forgotten how much better you feel when you start doing serious weight workouts. Last night was weight training. I did TRX for the first time. I love it! It is definitely worth all the hype that we had leading up to it. We also worked on abs which are probably my weak point due to having a back injury. After I worked out last night Jennifer and I went to the pool for the remainder of adult swim. It was great to be able to move in the water and make those sore muscles work a little more! I then went home and Adam came home and wanted to take a walk. Walks with us as a family are rare so I jumped on it even though I was feeling really sore and slow. Adam actually wanted to do a long walk so we went on about a 1.5 mile walk around the neighborhood. When we were crossing through the park on the way back I saw something on four legs walking around the trashcan by the basketball courts. I warned Adam that I was not sure what it was but to be careful. Adam had already saw it and started yelling at whatever it was to stay away. I am sure it was a dog but with all the coyote sightings people in Indy have had lately I wanted to be extra careful. So we ended our night with a very tired family!

So I am sure some of you are wondering how I am doing with my back and all the workouts. Well that is a good question. Anyone that knows the way I work out knows that I really push hard and don’t hold back. If it is hurting I tend not to let too many people know about it. Looking at me you probably wouldn’t think that but I used to be in very good shape and really even though I am overweight I still have some parts that are in good shape. My trainer Jacquie knows all about my back issues and she is very good about asking me how I am doing. She has back issues herself and does not want me to hurt myself. But I have made a decision that I am not going to let my back injury stop me from doing anything I want to do. As my mom told me early this week I have let my injury stop me for far too long. I feel horrible that I have waited so long into this year 29 adventure to start really trying at losing weight but I have always worked better under pressure!

Looking forward to some pool time this weekend and also Outrun the Sun! We have done it every year since it has started in memory and honor of my Aunt Julie who passed away from Melanoma. It is a great cause and if you ever have a chance to donate to it or walk for it I would highly recommend it!

I have decided that today I am going to do a separate post about school and some other things going on in the Murray household!

No pain, no gain?!

Wow..I am sore. With a little over 4 months to go until my 30^th I have decided in a last ditch effort to lose some weight to start with a personal trainer. Now I have worked with a personal trainer before my wedding and I saw some results with her. I decided to go back to the same one. Jacquie now has her own studio in Fishers. Check her out at Challengeyourbody.com.

My mom is helping me out with payments since I currently have little extra cash. I am doing 3 times a week in group fitness classes. The classes are small and with my back injury she is willing to help out and make sure I am not doing something that could injure myself. I was a little shocked when I went in for my first weigh-in with her and had gained 25 lbs since I last worked out with her. I knew I had gained a lot but I guess until you see the numbers you really don’t realize how much it is.

Well last night was my first night. I think I did pretty well with it. The class was 45 minutes long and she concentrated on body weight exercises and ab exercises. Tonights class is weight lifting. I am doing Monday, Wednesday and Thursday nights over there. I think the one thing that will be the hardest for me will be the diet part. I have to write down everything I eat and holding myself accountable for what I am eating is challenging for me sometimes.

With the couch to 5K I have kind of put it on hold right now. I am going to restart it after the weekend. The main reason I stopped it was because I was so tired and sore after the first time that I wimped out. I think with the combonation of the training sessions and my C25K it should be exactly what I need to jumpstart my workouts.

Another plus is now the pool is open so I can swim some laps there if I would like to. I have already been over there 3 times and I am pretty tan already. I love summer!! J