My attitude this morning is a little discouraged. Honestly I don’t know if pissed is even the word to describe how I feel about it right now. I am so upset with myself at this point it is not even funny. I have gained 2 pounds since I started working out with Jacquie. That is ridiculous! It is my fault too. I have been doing the workouts but it is more like I am just going through the motions at this point. I cried when I got off the scale last night. I keep getting farther and farther away from the point I wanted to be at by now. Jacquie told me that I need to stop eating after 7. Honestly that is going to be so hard for me because I don’t get off work until 5 or 5:30 during the week. On the weekends it won’t be as hard, but on the days I work it will be very difficult. I called Adam after my session last night and asked him if he could help me on the nights that he is home at 3. He said that he can fix dinner on those nights and have it ready for when I get home. Oh and that is another thing I am upset about. Adam’s store went to 24 hours over Memorial Day weekend. And one of his shift supervisors walked out. So now Adam is working 2 overnights a week. So that means I never get to see him again. But the nights that he is working overnights I go to Jacquie and I tend to eat better when he is not around so maybe it will be a benefit to me. But that means I have to come home and fix myself dinner and take care of the dog all before leaving again.
When I called Adam last night about having to eat before 7 I told him that if I don’t lose weight we will not being having a baby. There is no way that I will be able to get pregnant at the size I am now. Nor would I want to. I really have to start to kick this into gear because I am not going to let my chances to be a mother slip by me because I was selfish and could not lose weight. I know that this is something I can do. Before I met Adam I had lost around 25 pounds. I have packed on over sixty since I met him. I did lose 10 of the 60 pounds I had gained but still that does not even begin to scrape the surface of what I need to do.
I know I have said this so many times before but this is my definite wake-up call. I need to do something now about my weight because it is seriously out of control. I do not want to be fat for the rest of my life because when we do have children I don’t want them to look at me and say mommy is fat so I can be fat too.
:( Sorry for the set-back m'dear! It ain't easy losing weight even when you put the effort in. Have you tried mapping out your meals over the weekend? Matt and I have been doing that, and it has been a great success since I have a work schedule like you. I get home around 5:30- 6:00 and sometimes I don't want to cook right away. But if we already know what we are having, it seems to get me in the kitchen instantly to make food and eat before 7. Also, we walk Whiskey usually right after dinner just for a little stroll to get our food digested. I don't know if you're supposed to walk after eating, but it is quite refreshing if I say so myself!
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